All posts by NurseRx

This doesn't bother me at all. I don't really care that it is starting hormone replacement therapy. That doesn't change how I feel about it.

Does that make me panromantic?

Because I don't care it uses it/its pronouns, I don't care it is agender, I don't care that it is transgender (female to male), I don't care that it is starting hormone replacement therapy, but more often than not, I like male. So I can't be panromantic, right? Because panromantic is "emotional and romantic attraction to others regardless of their gender and sex", but more often than not I like males, but at the same time, I do not care what you are or what's in your pants, as long as you aren't an asshat of a person I'll be attracted to you, but if there was a lineup of people I'd pick a male or male presenting person despite the fact I find everyone attractive regardless of what they are or present as.

Maybe it fits me, because my attraction to males is less about their gender and sex and more about the role they take on in the relationship, which is typically dominant.

But pansexual/panromantic is usually about EQUAL attraction across all genders and sexes, but my attraction to different genders and sexes is different…

The best I can describe it is that sometimes I like women, sometimes I like men, sometimes I like people under the non-binary umbrella, but more often than not I like men, mainly because of the relationship dynamic. Men and males (of any gender) are typically more dominant and rough, and so I take on a more submissive and bubbly dynamic myself, and with women and females (of any gender), they are much softer and delicate, so I take on a dominant role myself. That doesn't NECESSARILY sound equal to me, but maybe that's an armory thing and not an attraction thing??? I don't know, man…

— Mauze (she/her + they/them)

I want to say I'm pansexual and don't have a preference, because personality means the most to me rather than genitalia/gender + appearance, but I kind of do have a preference; more often than not, I maladaptive daydream about dating a men… so yeah, I have a preference for men, so much so that I kind of feel like I'd be heteroflexible, not multisexual.

But I feel like I AM pansexual… if my partner were to transition or come out as something other than what they started as when we dated, I wouldn't care at all. I fell in love with them for them, not what's in their pants or happening in their brain. I fell in love with their personality and appearance, BUT more often than not I find men attractive, BUT if an attractive person comes on my TikTok FYP, then I find them attractive, regardless of what their gender is. If I find someone attractive, I notice their appearance before their gender/sex. Plus, there are funny videos on TikTok where there’s this really pretty lady, and I find them attractive, but they turn around and take the wig off, and it’s a man. Still doesn’t change anything; I still find them attractive. If they are attractive by my standards (so any and all humans on Earth), then I think they are hot, and I'm attracted to them… I'm so confused…

Would this be pan, omni (because I'm attracted to men more often than not), heteroflex, or something else???? /genq

— Moss (they/them)

Is there a sexuality for being attracted to men, non-binary people, women, and xenogender people (listed from most preferred to least preferred but still attracted to them)?

How do I tell the difference between aesthetic attraction and romantic/sexual attraction?

Somebody said that I might not experience romantic/sexual attraction and it might just be aesthetic attraction, but I genuinely don’t know how to tell them apart.

Could somebody explain it to me like I’m 5 years old?

-- Moss (they/vae)

I was on Reddit and saw a comic about an asexual person not knowing how other people just find people attractive, so they just go with what other people say is ‘attractive’. And I didn't relate to that at all. I find people sexually and romantically appealing and wish to date them, so I thought I wasn't aro/ace. But then someone said, “every time i think someone is attractive it's either cuz they're nice to me or aesthetically attractive as in they look nice in an outift” which is what I went through ALL ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! If someone was nice to me I had a crush on them, so I'm either hyper-romantic or aromantic. If someone was even the slightest bit nice to me I'd get a crush on them.

I know definitely that I'm fictoromantic/sexual, but I also like real-life people, so for this, I'm not counting fictional characters.

I've had crushes in the past. People I DEFINITELY wanted to be romantic with. But nowadays, the act of being romantic or sexual or doing ANYTHING that requires physical touch from someone I'm not related to grosses me out and makes me super uncomfortable. I don't understand why people would want to tie themselves down to ONE person when there are 8 billion people on the planet. I don't get how couples are obsessed with each other, they’re just another person, just because you are dating doesn't mean they are somehow better than everyone else. I don't understand how couples DON’T JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER. Open communication is NOT that hard. I honestly can't tell if this is my autism talking or if I'm aro/ace. Also, the physical touch thing could just be a sensory issue. I HATE the feeling of other people’s skin touching mine. It's so gross.

But I also don't want to date people. Dating someone sounds horrible despite the fact I (at least I think) feel attraction. Dating people sounds HORRIBLE! I would hate to tie myself to 1 person my whole life, but I don't want to be in an open relationship or whatever because I want to be the only person my partner loves.

The problem is that I find people attractive so I can't be aroace! So am I agamous? Some other 3rd thing? I can't be agamous because I’m monogamish. It doesn't make sense…

— Moss (they/them/he)

So, I've been tracking my gender today since I had nothing better to do, and the data is:

• Agender: 26.67%

• FINgender: 13.33%

• Librafeminine: 13.33%

• Demiboy: 13.33%

• Azurboy: 6.67%

• Libramasculine: 6.67%

• Paragirl: 6.67%

• Binary Man (Trans): 6.67%

• Non-binary: 6.67%

So I've come to the conclusion that I'm genderfaunet, and I was also tracking my attraction, and I'm mostly attracted to men, so does that mean I'm gay (mlm)? Straight since I feel fem genders (wlm)? I'm confused...

— Raymond (They/Them)

So I’m making this profile sheet for my characters, I’m trying to write down all of the different types of attraction, and there is this one website that would coin different terms, but the website doesn’t work anymore or something like that because when I tried finding it, it just showed up a blank page. So I was wondering if anybody knew any other websites that just hosted hundreds of different types of attraction?!

— Raymond / Rae (she/they)

I’m starting to realize that I might not actually want to have a significant other. Obviously, I’m single right now so I sleep in my own bed, which is a twin size bed in my own bedroom. Since I sleep by myself, I can move around as much as I want without consequences. But I won’t be able to do that if I sleep in the same bed as somebody else cause they’re gonna be annoyed about how much I move around in order to find a comfortable position. Why would I wanna spend the rest of my life holding myself back just to make somebody else comfortable? In this context, why would I spend the rest of my life sleeping in uncomfortable positions because I wouldn’t want to bother somebody else by moving around a lot in the same bed? Being in a relationship sounds horrible!

But I don’t think I’m aroace since I still find people attractive. But I would never ever want to be in a romantic or sexual relationship with another human being. I barely want to be in a platonic relationship with anybody. From my understanding, being aroace means that you genuinely do not find people attractive in that kind of way, which is just not something that I am. I still find people attractive romantically, and sexually, at least I think I do? I would never want to be in a relationship with another person, I just genuinely don’t understand why somebody would want to ruin their own life by having to be tied down to another person. Being in a relationship sounds horrible because you always have to worry about the comfort of another person on an intimate level. If given the chance to be forever alone or marry my soulmate, I would choose to be single for the rest of my life. I’ve been in several romantic relationships, and I hated every single one of them and I was so glad that they didn’t last longer than a week. But I still do get crushes on people and they still do feel romantic attraction to some capacity. I just feel extremely uncomfortable with being in any type of relationship.

I just don't understand the whole 'being attracted to another person' and 'wanting to spend my life with someone else' thing. That sounds horrible! But my family will tell me I'll grow out of this and that I'll find someone and that I'll want kids in 10 years time since 'it's different when it's your kids' when I expressed my hatred for children + babies.

I guess it also counts as the fact that I have to dedicate myself to another person, as well as the knowledge that even if we weren't living together, I would still be aware of the fact that I'm in a relationship with somebody else. I don't want to be in a relationship. Just the idea of being in a romantic relationship with another person makes me uncomfortable. JUST THE IDEA MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE! I've been in romantic relationships before and they make me extremely uncomfortable, and I don't wanna be touched or near the person whatsoever. I feel extremely uncomfortable with the idea of being in a romantic relationship, as it makes me anxious and I don't want to be close to or touched by anyone. Just the CONCEPT of being dedicated and in a relationship with somebody else makes me uncomfortable. I don't wanna dedicate myself to just 1 person, but I'm not polyamorous in any way that I can tell right now. If anything, being polyamorous is also repulsive, because I also have to dedicate myself to more people than just 1 person. I have to be in a relationship with multiple people instead of just 1. It's the same uncomfortable feeling I'm having with monogamy but worse because it's amplified because there's more people involved. I just don't like the idea of being in a relationship.

I like the idea of being in a relationship with somebody (MAINLY FICTIONAL CHARACTERS INSTEAD OF REAL LIFE PEOPLE; I can still feel the desire to be in a relationship with a real person, but it's not something I particularly want even though I do desire it (yes, there's a difference between WANTING something and DESIRING something)). I still desire romantic intimacy and stuff like that, but once I actually start to get into a relationship with somebody, I don't like that anymore and I'm not attracted to them anymore. Once a relationship begins, I'm just completely disgusted and uncomfortable with them being near me or touching me (non-sexually; because I'm still a virgin and do not want to have sex).

It's really weird because I both DO and DON'T desire being in a relationship. It's both something I heavily desire but also something that heavily repulses me.

So I'm a mix of frayromantic-apothiromantic IRL and aegoromantic-fictoromantic-cogitariromantic.

SO ALL TOGETHER THIS MEANS: I don't like being in relationships IRL because they make me heavily uncomfortable (apothiromantic), but I do SOMEWHAT like being in situations where we are just talking and hanging out but are a little bit more than just friends; you know, we are NOT romantically involved, even though we spend a lot of intimate time together (frayromantic). I do experience attraction (of all types really), crushes, and fantasies inside my head (cogitariromantic and aegoromantic), and I do experience it with real-life people (semi-veritaromantic) SOMETIMES, but it's MAINLY directed at fictional characters (fictoromantic). I also enjoy romance in media (bellusromantic and aegoromantic), but not directed at me (apothiromantic).

I've also experienced these feelings towards both boys and girls and non-binary (and everybody under this label) people, and I mainly find boys (cisgender, transgender, or non-binary male people of any presentation) attractive. Meaning I'm omniromantic since I like everyone and have a preference/I'm not gender-blind.

This is horrible… way to many labels to describe something so small to me.

I don't want to introduce myself to others by going 'hey! Here's a Google Doc sheet of all my labels!', that's annoying. This is why I like only have 2 or 3 labels at a time, but I can't find just 2 that I like because my identity is WAY to complicated...

((advice + label suggestions are welcome /gen /vpos))

— Raymond/Rae (she/they)

I've seen some aroace people saying that they are dating someone, and I'm here to learn more about it!

I understand queerplatonic relationships, but I'm talking about romantically. I've seen aroace people talk about their romantic partners or wanting to be in a romantic relationship, and I don't understand it. I'm aego aroace, I sometimes feel romantic/sexual feelings, but I don't really want to date people IRL. So I'm curious.

— Raymond/Rae (she/they/he)

So, for queer labels (since I've been struggling lately to find the right one)… is it best to pick what I want instead of how I feel? For example, I’m not interested in dating or being in a sexual relationship, ever, so it’s best to just say that I am aroace despite the fact I’m sorta attracted to people (aroaceflux/aego aroace)?

I remember somebody telling me a WHILE ago that they identify as non-binary despite the fact that they are pangender. They say they’re non-binary just so it makes sense for other people to understand, despite the fact that they know deep down inside that they are pangender.

So I kinda wanted to do the same thing, but with aroace (sexuality instead of gender).

— Rae (they/she)

UGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! Seeing someone online talking about their queerplatonic partner upsets me. I want a partner. I want to date people, but I also don't. I hate that kinda thing, but I also desire it to some degree sometimes. I don't know what's wrong with me. I both do and don't want to date people. I don't even know how to ask someone to date me since I'm not in school anymore (an easy way to find single people my age (I also know how they act outside of us talking snice I watch them at school every day since my school was super tiny)) and my mom tells me not to go on dating apps no matter how badly I want to. I refuse to date the psychos at my church. So unless I walk up to a random stranger on the street and ask them to date me and they say yes, I'm going to be single forever. I guess I could mess around in college, but I don't really want to go to college despite the fact my mom is forcing me to go. So I'm just screwed all around, huh.

I'm still not entirely sure what my sexuality (multisexual, heterosexual, or homosexual), gender, or a-spec labels are anyway. I don't really know who I am or what I want. It's distressing. The queer part of me and the religious part of me have been fighting the past few days and it mentally hurts.

The problem is, that AlloCisHet people don't question their gender or sexuality. Heterosexual girls don't look at another girl and find her sexually and romantically attractive. So I am NOT AlloCisHet. Disregarding religion (and thus queerphobia), I bet my AlloCisHet grandma has never looked at another female and got giddy because she was so pretty and attractive and immediately thought, 'smash'. Heterosexual girls don't fantasize about kissing girls and get turned on by it.

They don't have these desires because they don't feel it—they don't have that want, that desire, that fantasy. So I am in fact queer. This upsets me because of my religious guilt.

— Raymond/Rae (she/they/he)

Sexually, I’m attracted to every single gender imaginable, I’m open to literally everything, but sometimes I fantasize about my partner being of a specific gender/sex, the specific gender/sex also varying from time to time (so I wouldn’t say that my attraction is equal to all genders, sometimes someone a specific thing, and sometimes I don’t, it changes all the time really).

And romantically, I am attracted to every single gender except a man (cis, trans, it doesn’t matter, as long as they identify as a man in some way).

I’m actually not entirely sure what this would be.

— Raymond/Rae (she/they/he)