I was on Reddit and saw a comic about an asexual person not knowing how other people just find people attractive, so they just go with what other people say is ‘attractive’. And I didn't relate to that at all. I find people sexually and romantically appealing and wish to date them, so I thought I wasn't aro/ace. But then someone said, “every time i think someone is attractive it's either cuz they're nice to me or aesthetically attractive as in they look nice in an outift” which is what I went through ALL ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! If someone was nice to me I had a crush on them, so I'm either hyper-romantic or aromantic. If someone was even the slightest bit nice to me I'd get a crush on them.
I know definitely that I'm fictoromantic/sexual, but I also like real-life people, so for this, I'm not counting fictional characters.
I've had crushes in the past. People I DEFINITELY wanted to be romantic with. But nowadays, the act of being romantic or sexual or doing ANYTHING that requires physical touch from someone I'm not related to grosses me out and makes me super uncomfortable. I don't understand why people would want to tie themselves down to ONE person when there are 8 billion people on the planet. I don't get how couples are obsessed with each other, they’re just another person, just because you are dating doesn't mean they are somehow better than everyone else. I don't understand how couples DON’T JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER. Open communication is NOT that hard. I honestly can't tell if this is my autism talking or if I'm aro/ace. Also, the physical touch thing could just be a sensory issue. I HATE the feeling of other people’s skin touching mine. It's so gross.
But I also don't want to date people. Dating someone sounds horrible despite the fact I (at least I think) feel attraction. Dating people sounds HORRIBLE! I would hate to tie myself to 1 person my whole life, but I don't want to be in an open relationship or whatever because I want to be the only person my partner loves.
The problem is that I find people attractive so I can't be aroace! So am I agamous? Some other 3rd thing? I can't be agamous because I’m monogamish. It doesn't make sense…
— Moss (they/them/he)